Grief Again

Oh what a week has just passed. A week ago I fell in love. This is so different to anything I've ever felt before. There's the physical touch I've always craved, but it's so much more. The love is built upon a foundation of cherished friendship which has been kindled over the last three months. Added to that is total trust between us, removing all fear that could be part of a new relationship if it were with a complete stranger.

The exuberance of my love is matched (or dare I say exceeded?) by her love and desire for me. I'm going about my daily business at home and catching myself smiling, for no other reason than basking in the glow of having been with her.

I thank God for bringing us together. What a wonderfully abundant answer to prayer.

Last October, I felt that God had brought me and the woman I then loved together, and so how that failed so miserably after such a wonderful start remains a mystery to me. Perhaps I played a part in something that God was working in her life. Perhaps it happened just to make the present timing work. Perhaps I will never know in this lifetime.

And this love, the ever-growing love and friendship, spells the end of the grief journal. There is no reason to write any more about grief, except to say that even in the context of extreme elation, grief for the love I had for Julie and Ros will never be fully extinguished. Grief never really ends. Time does not heal.

But love does heal.

I am healing.