We were born into an imperfect world.
But even before the world became imperfect, after God had created the world, there was just one thing that was not quite right. God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”
Roslyn had been brought up in a household of love, she had always been loved, and yet she craved the love and intimacy that could be provided only by a husband. She had prayed to God for ever so long for a suitable husband to love her and for her to love.
Meanwhile, I was also desperately lonely, and God, in his mercy, brought us together. From the start until the end, we both believed that we were God’s gift to each other, and we always believed that we were absolutely perfect for each other. Not perfect people, of course, but most definitely perfect for each other.
It would be wrong to say that she ever fully understood me, but she certainly accepted everything about me, and loved me in a way that I had always hoped to be loved.
I never fully understood everything about how she thought, but I loved her and I adored her deeply, strongly and irreversibly from the start, and the love continued to grow. I also liked her a lot.
I loved to stare into her eyes - what I consider to be the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen. These eyes were donated, and so now two blind people can see because they have Roslyn’s corneas.
I lived for her smile, and if I was ever the reason for her smile, then that was most definitely a bonus.
From the start, I told her I didn’t just want to be her husband, but insisted that I must be husband, lover and friend in equal parts.
I loved how she cared for others, family and friends, and so enjoyed watching her flourish as she took on the teaching of Conversational English to those whose native tongue was one other than English.
I also loved seeing her faith grow. It seemed that the more she suffered, the more she craved knowing God, immersing herself in biblical teaching, and learning to accept God’s will for her life.
My only complaint of her is that she never fully accepted how accomplished she was in so many ways. She never thought that she was very good as a public speaker, and perhaps at the beginning of her time at Toastmasters, she wasn’t. But the Toastmasters awards at home with her name on them are testament to her skill as a public speaker.
The love and admiration of her ESL students are testament to her excellence as a teacher.
And my broken heart is testament to the fact that she was everything I ever hoped to have.
Why did she have to die so young? There’s no real answer to that.
We cannot explain why Roslyn had cancer, why she died so young. She didn’t deserve it. But while I will never fully recover from this loss, she is now at peace, free from pain and misery. She now has the eternal life that God promised her and in which she believed, and in which I also believe.
The honeymoon is over. We both agreed that the honeymoon would end only when one of us wanted it to end - and neither of us did. Some say that it’s not possible for romance to continue for years and years. Yes, it can - and it did. “Romance, politeness, attraction, passion, affection and consideration will not cease just because the honeymoon is over. In fact, these things will continue no matter how old we become.” That was one of our wedding vows. I think we kept that one. I think we kept all of them. Neither of us actually wanted the honeymoon to end - but end it did.
I loved Roslyn with all that I am and all that I had, and I am blessed to be the man who made her feel so loved.